month 17!

hi my smoochy moocher,

it is getting harder for me to write these things every month, but i am going to try and stick with it until you're 2. which, realistically speaking, is only 7 months away...?!?!?! soooooooo, my little boy. you are a dancing fool. i am pretty sure i have never seen anything so funny as a toddler dancing. every time those damn imagination movers come on, you get down, and it is the cutest thing i've ever seen. you are blibber blabbering away, but haven't really added any words except for "baby" to your vocabulary. you are still napping twice a day (THANK THE LORD, see previous post), but i don't hold out hope that it will last much longer. i am just not sure what i will do with ALL OF THOSE HOURS IN A DAY with you AWAKE. ;)

we took our first family vacay with just the three of us at the beginning of september. we stayed in keystone, sd and visited so many fun places that i hope we can go back to one day when you're a bit older. the first day we got there we stopped at the cosmos and you were hilarious! we were letting you waddle all over, which in hindsight probably did not make us look like the best parents ever, but sometimes you have to sacrifice your image for a laugh. the cosmos are this strange phenomena where although you are on level ground, gravity pulls you sideways. it is impossible to stand up straight and we all had to hold on to the walls just to keep our balance. i don't know if it was easier for you because you were closer to the ground, but you managed not to fall over!

we also went to the reptile gardens (daddy's favorite), the petting farm (my favorite), and bear country - where bears walk right in front of your car! it was tons of fun. we also took you to toys r us for the first time and you loved it there. but then what kid doesn't? you climbed all over the shelves, up onto power wheels, behind boxes, and just generally ran amuck. daddy and i really enjoyed watching your face light up as you ran from thing to thing. we also visited mt. rushmore which was our main reason for going to sd in the first place. it is a lot smaller than i had imagined it, but still pretty awesome, and i'm glad i can finally say i've been there. strange, since i still haven't seen the grand canyon after living in phoenix for 17 years, but we are going to try and rectify that in december when we go visit grandma & grandpa d for christmas.

so, my lucky little guy, you have offially visited 7 states already in under a year and a half of life. you have been to arizona, nevada, montana, north dakota, south dakota, indiana and illinois! wow! before you know it you'll have been to all 50! it was great to take a trip somewhere as a family and i can't wait for our next family vacation. :)

that's about all i have to report this time, but stay tuned for your next update. i'm sure i will have LOTS to tell you about being ONE AND A HALF!

love you lots and lots,

mama

oh boy...

son,

i think you are close to ridding yourself of your afternoon nap. you may not find it necessary, but i find is absolutely necessary. there will be tears, for sure. most likely they will be mine, so bear with me.

also, i am sorry i didn't write you a 16-month post, but it was a shitty month and i just didn't feel like it. so there.

love,

mama

month 15!

jacob,

you are the most kick ass kid on the planet! i took you for your 15 month check up today and you didn't even cry when you got your shots...in fact, you smiled at the nurse after she did it! YOU ARE SO COOL. don't get me wrong, if you had cried, you'd be just as cool, but i think not crying during shots is unheard of and makes you exceptionally exceptional. :)

you weigh 26.4 lbs and are 31 1/4 inches long. you are starting to look more like your daddy every day, and it's very clear to me now that you have his build. it's especially apparent now that we buzzed your head. you are TOO CUTE. i mean, so much cuteness should not be allowed. it nearly kills me on a daily basis.

you are saying "ball" and "hot" now. you babble so much and i am fairly certain we will have no trouble getting you to talk when the time comes. you walk up the stairs like a big boy, holding onto the wall for support. you walk downstairs as well, but not without the aide of my hand, so far.

you are such an easygoing kid, i can't believe how lucky i am. although, i would like to take just a tad bit of credit for that. ;) you have no attachment issues, you eat great, you love everyone, you sleep well, drive well. you and i went up to bottineau this past weekend to see daddy, and although it is a 4 1/2 hour drive with no stops, it was a 6 hour drive because we had to take a few breaks. you did not freak out once! you napped on and off, babbled to yourself, or just stared out the window. have i mentioned you are AWESOME?

this is by far my favorite phase of your life, and i am trying to enjoy it as much as i can before the tantrums and what not start. you are my little buddy and i enjoy you so much it's almost indescribable. you love to chase me around the island in the kitchen, and then collapse in laughter when you catch me. i nibble your knees and it elicits an adorable peal of giggles every time. you sit in my lap to read books, you hold my hand and pull me to the gate when you want to go out and play, and you rest your head on my shoulder and play with my hair several times a day when you want a snuggle break.

your brother is going to turn 8 in 10 short days, and it makes me sad that i missed out on seeing him do all of the adorable things you're doing, but it also makes me that much more grateful. i can't wait for the two of you to have a relationship as you get older, and see the two beautiful boys i've given birth to play together. i am so glad that he has been able to have the kind of life i'm now able to give to you. you are two very lucky little boys.

I LOVE YOU, MY SON.

love,

mama

14 months...

i love this boy.

month 14!

JaLu,

yes, i really do call you this sometimes, but only when i'm mocking celebrity monickers such as these.

you are no longer my sweet little baby boy, nosiree, you are on the fast train towards being a boy, and i love almost every moment of it. things i do not love: you drinking your milk and spitting and/or letting it run out of your mouth, down your chin, and all over your clothes. i don't know why, but this drives me CRAZY. also, pulling my hair, hitting me, and kicking me during your rare (so far) tantrums. i would list the fact that you love to throw your food all over the floor, and only eat half of your lunch and then insist on eating half of mine, but i'd like to keep the dislikes list to a minimum. and let's be honest, you're a 14-month-old, of course you do those things!

you are pretty much only walking these days, and are finally standing up on your own. i thought that would have come before you walked, but whatever. i don't really read up on that stuff because i figure you'll do it when you're good and ready. i loved what to expect the first year, and thought i'd be all into what to expect: the toddler years, but no so much. i'd rather just enjoy things as they come. =)

you and mommy went to chicago at the beginning of the month to say goodbye to great grandma. it's a good thing we went when we did because she passed 2 days after we left. we got a couple great pictures of the 3 of us, and you would give her a kiss on command each time i told you to. you're such a sweet boy, my little monkey. i have to admit, staying at someone else's house without the luxuries of home is tough. you handled it like a champ though and slept thru the night the whole time we were there. and of course, everyone was won over by your sparkling smile and good nature. you sure know how to make your mama proud.

the night we got back from chicago, we survived our first tornado. we were locked out of the house for 3 hours, and couldn't even get in with the help of a locksmith. luckily our friend who was taking care of lula while we were gone, called at just the right moment and we had enough time to get inside and give you a bath before heading to the basement. we hung out watching the storm for a while and then i decided it was time to retire to the bathroom when the power went out. ignorance was bliss since i had no idea what to expect, and maintained my composure throughout. you and i played in the bathtub, in between snuggles, and you eventually fell asleep on my chest. you never do that, so it was a special moment for me.

you have 8 teeth now, and are currently cutting some molars. you eat great for the most part, and drink your milk like a good boy. when you're not spitting it out that is. ;) you're still in your 18 month clothes, and seem to have stopped growing for the time being. all that walking around is slimming you down, but you've still got your chunkalicious thighs. nibble, nibble. mmmmm, yum.

you love playing with puzzles, and reading books. you enjoy exerting your strength at every opportunity. daddy and i can't believe how strong you are! you give hugs and kisses now, and when you hug, you repeatedly squeeze your little hand on the back of my neck. you're still sleeping thru the night, but seem to wake up on weekends when daddy is home. i'm sure it's because you don't want to miss a moment with him while he's here, and i don't blame you one bit!

i somehow manage to love you more with every moment that passes, and no one can melt my heart the way you do little man. thank you for being you.

love,

mama

look out chicago!

me and the monkey are headed to chicago tomorrow to see my grandmother, probably for the last time. although the circumstances are not the best, i am glad to have a reason that i have to get my butt out there to see the fam. my parents are there as well, helping to take care of my grandma, so it's a bonus that we'll get to see them as well. pizza, portillo's, white castle, and steak n' shake...look out, i'm coming to eat you! YUM!

i'm also excited to spend the 4th of july there, as i used to visit every summer for the 4th of july when i was a teenager. i was back there a few years ago for the 4th, but because my friend had won an all expenses paid trip to see the police play at wrigley, so needless to say, i didn't get to see the fam then. although, as you can imagine, i wasn't all that disappointed given the situation.

i wish phil was coming along, but tickets were too expensive, and he shouldn't take anymore time off work considering it's only june and we've had 2 out of town weddings, 2 months out of work, and now a last minute trip to see my grandma. *sigh* hopefully one day he'll be able to come with and see where i hail from. also? sucks that he won't be able to see monkey enjoy fireworks for the first time, but i think we bought enough that when we get back we'll have loads of fun setting them off in the front yard. yay for living somewhere you can buy fireworks!!!

happy 4th everyone!

p.s. all well wishes in regards to flying alone with the monkey are greatly appreciated. i am dreading every moment. =)

month 13!

hi boo bear,

this nickname is quite possibly the most annoying to date. no clue where it came from, but it's out of my mouth before i can stop it every time!

the most important thing i'd like to discuss with you this month, is that you are growing up entirely too quickly for my liking and i insist you stop it right now! with that said...

this month was a big one! we left for phoenix on may 30th, to go to your uncle g's wedding, and first thing the next day we had your 1st birthday party. most of your friends came and a good time was had by all. you had your first classic toilet paper moment, while i'm a bit ashamed to say, i had no idea where you were, nor was i paying any attention whatsoever. luckily, someone asked me where you were, and we found you in the bathroom surrounded by toilet paper.

you swam, you ate, and just before everyone left, we had cake. grandma and grandpa d got you your own little cake, and everyone else munched on cupcakes with monkeys. you had a blast eating it, and of course later ended up with an upset stomach. fun times.

the next 10 days were a whirlwind of eating, visiting friends, and lots and lots of driving. you did great, except for sleeping, and there were multiple times that i wanted to disown you. every night that your daddy and i went out, no matter what time we came home, you would wake up just as soon as we laid our heads down on the pillow. i finally decided that as soon as we got home, you were crying yourself to sleep no matter what. i had had ENOUGH.

the morning after we got home, i also decided to start weaning you. i figured the time was finally right...no more teeth coming in, daddy was home for a few more days, and i no longer had any reservations. we immediately cut out your two daytime feedings and you handled it like a champ. you started eating better, and you started sleeping thru the night. AMEN AND HALLELUJAH. this weekend when daddy comes home we're going to stop the morning feeding, and as long as mama keeps making milk i will only nurse you at night.

you and i will be going to chicago in a few weeks to visit my grandma. she was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her brain and we aren't sure how much longer she's going to make it. i swore that i would never fly alone with you again, but considering the circumstances i am making an acception. and i plan on being armed with ten million books, snacks, and a portable dvd player. the fact that i am even considering buying a portable dvd player to fly with a 13 month old should tell you a lot about your excellent behavior on airplanes.

as far as your development goes, you seem to have crossed over into toddlerhood. you started walking on june 1st, the last day we were in phoenix, and daddy and grandma and grandpa d were so glad to have witnessed it. you are clapping, and saying, "wow, woah, and oooh," and respond to certain questions, such as, "would you like some yogurt?" you are drinking milk, out of a 12 month sippy cup without handles, and whenever we go on walks, you always put it back in the cup holder in your stroller. you give hugs and kisses, and love to read books with mama.

you have also started throwing tantrums that make we want to screeeeeam, and i wonder why the hell no one ever warned me it begins this early! you also like to drink your milk at times, and spit it all over the place. this makes me crazier than any other thing you do. i HATE it. you, however, are obviously aware that i hate it and laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world. note to self: will have to practice reverse psychology on that one. you have also started hitting me, and while you don't do it often, you do it enough that i wonder how i will ever deal with your terrible two's and three's. one day at a time, i suppose.

you are handling daddy being gone much better after our trip to phoenix, and i am so relieved. it had an obvious effect on you the first couple of weeks, and sometimes you would wake up at night and we would both end up in tears. during the day i try to keep us busy, whether it be a trip to walmart, or a walk around the track at the community center, because you are always happier while outside or out and about.

people still continue to ask me whether you are always so happy, and to that i say, "boy, do you have them fooled." although you are mostly a happy boy, they have never seen your tantrums. but you still never fail to smile at anyone you walk by, and that is one of the things i love most about you. you are my little charmer, and you make me so proud every day.

love,

mama

good times.

daddy is home for two weeks, we are heading to phoenix tonight for 10 days, having jacob's birthday party with all of his homies tomorrow, and a wedding for our BFF, g-man next weekend. lots of relaxation and tasty beverages to be had. woooooooooo-hooooooooo!

happy 1st birthday, my little monkey!

my darling jacob,

you are 1 year old today, and even though i know this day has been coming for the past 364 days, i still can't quite believe it. it's been a rough month for us, your 12th month of life, and i wish i could write a post about all of the wonderful things you've been up to, but the truth is, daddy left to go work up north at the beginning of the month, and you got sick immediately afterwards.

at first i thought you just had a cold, and i let it go for almost a week. one day we were playing at grandma's and you got a raging fever out of nowhere. i called the doctor the next day, as your fever hadn't subsided all night, and they told me to keep you home unless a number of things happened. unfortunately, all of those things happened, and i had to take you in the next afternoon.

you had been burning up since the day before, and you were unlike i've ever seen you. you wanted nothing but to snuggle with mama, and you looked so sad and forlorn, i could hardly stand it. you whimpered, you cried if i even dared go to the bathroom without you, and i knew for sure that something was wrong. as sweet as you are, you are never content to lie on mama for any more than a millisecond.

the doctor concluded that you had a sinus infection, and because you had a red ring around your butt hole, and had been exposed to tonsillitis, that you had perianal strep. i tried to find information about it on the internet to no avail, but i put you on amoxycillan and hoped that you would be cured.

turns out you have an extreme sensitivity to antibiotics, and had diarrhea almost immediately after the first dose i gave you. by the 4th day, your butt was so red and raw that i could hardly wipe it, and i had to have changed your diaper no less than 25 times by afternoon. after another call to the doctor, we decided to stop the antibiotics and see how you were doing at your 1 year checkup.

although you are noticeably better today, you have pooped on your bedroom floor, in the bathtub, and again at your naked birthday picnic. i am trying to give you as much naked time to allow your butt to heal as possible, but cleaning up diarrhea on fabric surfaces is not my favorite thing to do. =)

since i can't give you birthday cake today, for fear it will upset your tummy even more, i decided what better way to celebrate your 1st birthday than with a naked picnic? this was a great idea, and you absolutely loved crawling around grandma's backyard naked as a jaybird. grandma m was nice enough to put together your cozy coupe we bought you for your big day and you rode around in that, played with your blocks, and even ate a few snackies.

since you've been out of commission, you haven't really tried the walking thing much, but i can say that you are looking more like a little boy every day, and acting like one, too. i am taking you for your first haircut on thursday, and i will be surprised if i don't cry once i see how grown up you look.

having you has made our lives so much better, monkas chunkas. we love you so much, and are thankful every day that you have made us a family. i couldn't ask for a better son, and i am truly blessed to be your mommy, my boy. i can't wait to see what you have in store for us now!

happy 1st birthday, jacob lucas.

i love you more than there are stars in the sky,

mama

my first mother's day

i feel like the luckiest mama in the world today. i just keep looking at jacob and thanking him for finally making me a mama in the real sense of the word. phil has always been sweet, and acknowledged me on mother's day, because i did, in fact, give birth to another child, but it has always been a bittersweet day for me. he knew it was especially rough for me the first few years, so he would tell me happy mother's day, take me out to lunch, and make me feel special for the day. it was hard, because i felt like i was a mom, if only in the most technical sense. i made a child, brought him into the world, and needed to feel like i wasn't forgotten just because he wasn't with me anymore. phil was always sensitive to that and it just makes me love him all that much more.

it's so different now, because i'm a MOM mom. i feed him, i change his diapers, i wipe snot, clean up puke, bathe him, play, laugh, cuddle, and watch him grow on a daily basis. it makes me grateful that i made the choice i did, so that i get to fully experience motherhood the way it's meant to be experienced. i know if i had kept jacob's older brother that it wouldn't have been that way. and i am glad that i was wise enough to know that at the time. that what i would have been able to give him at the time would never compare to what she could give him. and i was absolutely right. she's amazing and i make sure to celebrate her every year. this year she sent me a mother's day card and a book on baby sign language to celebrate my first mother's day. it nearly brought me to tears.

so, in honor of today, i did the one thing i swore i would NEVER do for the first time ever, and hopefully, but not likely, the last. i licked my thumb and used it to wipe dried snot off of jacob's face. if that doesn't scream motherhood, i don't know what does.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

yeeeeeeeeeee-haw!

good news! phil starts a new job on monday. the only catch is that it's about 4 1/2 hours north of here, so he will probably only be home on weekends. but, with things the way they are, i am just grateful that he found work again so soon. it will definitely be an adjustment for the monkey and i, and i HATE being alone, especially at night, but i'm hoping it won't be so bad after a little while.

i'm so glad all of that worrying was for naught! phil hates that i always expect the worse, but the way i look at it, if you always expect the worst you won't be disappointed when it happens, and you will be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't. sounds crazy, but it works for me. and i always know in the back of my mind that things will be okay. maybe not the way i plan them to be, but okay nonetheless.

these boots are made for walkin'...

jacob,

today marks the day that i have decided to deem, "the day you took your first steps!" over the past few weeks you have been standing on your own. at first it was only for a couple of seconds, but as time goes by you stand for longer periods of time. within the last week you took a step, fell down, and crawled along on your merry way. today, however, you started taking 2, then 3 steps, until finally you took 5 whole steps! i am in no rush for you to be a walker, but i want you to know how very proud your daddy and i are. you continue to amaze me on a daily basis, little man.

smoochy mooch!

mama

bizarre?

is it completely weird and pathetic that i cried this morning when i realized i got my period for the first time since before i got pregnant? or is it just completely weird and pathetic that i just told the internet?

month 11!

jacob,

you are getting so ridiculously big, my boy. just in the past month you have started waving, standing on your own, climbing off of things, kissing like crazy, comprehending what i say to you and sometimes listening, but let's be honest, mostly not. you found your penis not too long ago, while in the tub, and haven't let it go since, and i must say, your father is proud. you even like to stand after your bath at various places in your room, and pee like a big boy. you love to open and close cabinets and drawers, and you love to take things out of drawers and then put them back in. i also forgot to mention that somewhere between 9 and 10 months, you finally started sitting.

you are getting more teeth, but alas, they are not your two front teeth. oh no, they are your bicuspids! you are going to look like a little vampire baby. i kinda like that you're different, but it freaked me out a bit at first. the funny thing is that i had no idea you were even getting teeth until one night after bathtime you leaned your head back and i saw that one was already popping out! i thought to myself that i had the bestest teething baby in the whole world, and then i slapped myself for thinking such a thing, when every other day since then has been not so awesome to say the least.

your auntie and future girlfriend, lil t, came out to visit at the beginning of the month and the two of you played so well, my uterus was begging to be inhabitated again. luckily your other auntie had her second little boy the other day and hearing about how that is going with an 18 month old has convinced me that's not such a good idea just yet! but did i mention how cute the two of you were? she was kissing and hugging you to pieces, and you would kiss her back, and i just melted every time. you had such a great time with your little buddy, and we even recorded the two of you taking a bath together, and kissing, so that we can blackmail and torture you in your teenage years.

you are eating a variety of foods now, although your appetite still surprises me in that it's not very big. maybe once you stop getting the boob? one more month, baby, one more month. *sigh* i am ready, but i am not ready to go through the process of doing it. i can't even bring myself to give up our early morning feeding, but that is mostly because i want to sleep later. but i think i am going to have to soon to make the transition easier later on. foods you are eating include lunch meat, cheese, chicken, pb & j, animal crackers, cheerios, pancakes, yogurt, fruit cups, mashed potatoes, fish, ground beef, and sometimes if you're feeling generous, veggies. sometimes we just give you whatever we're having if it's baby friendly, and sometimes we give you a gerber graduates meal. you absolutely love the gerber cheese puffs and you would eat an entire can in a sitting if i'd let you. gerber puffs? not so much anymore.

we are going to phoenix again at the end of may because your uncle g is getting married, and we are going to have your 1st birthday party while we're there. i am so excited that we get to have it there because all of your little friends can come. we are having invitations made that say, "our little monkey, jacob, is turning 1!" that have a little monkey on them with all the details for the party. we are going to bbq and swim, drink and have a great time. it will be perfect. your grandma m may even fly out if there's no work yet.

i have started to have to "discipline" you and i hate it. it makes me feel like the meanest mama in the world, and i hate the idea that you may think i'm mad at you. there is a baby gate up at the top of the stairs and you love to defy me by climbing up and standing on it. i have told you, "no thank you," countless times, tried using a stern voice, pulling you away and putting you elsewhere, and nothing distracts you from it. i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how taking care of a baby is the easy part, while raising a child is the hard part. i just hope you know that whatever i do or don't let you do is for your own good, and i am going to try my best to be the best mom i can be. i'm only human so i'm bound to screw up along the way, but hopefully the stuff i do right outweighs the wrong.

i love you.

mama

i'm trying!

this keeping a positive outlook business is harder than it seems. i am relatively calm about the whole thing, but as my bank account keeps diminishing, and the checks stop coming, i have a harder time remembering that everything will work out. i know it will, but i just wish it would happen soon.

month 10!

baby boy,

this month is going to be a bullet point list of all the things i can remember you doing over the past month. :)

- you are waving now. quite possibly the cutest thing EVER.

- getting you dressed and changing your diaper is like training for the WWF.

- you can now crawl down the stairs.

- your climbing prowess is growing at an alarming rate.

- you are becoming quite the snuggle bug.

- you LOVE playing with other kids, and i love watching.

- you got your first cold this month when we took you to phoenix.

- flying on an airplane alone with you is something i never want to do again!

- you are still waking up at night, and we are trying once again to break you of this habit.

- since you got sick, i do not even try to feed you baby food anymore.

- you like eating big people food, and the freedom of feeding yourself, but you don't eat much.

- you say, "dada" all day long. especially when i try to get you to say "mama." stinker.

- in 2 months, you are going to be 1. HOLY CRAP.

we love you the mostest.

mama

off to see the wizard...

we are off to vegas in the morning and then heading to phoenix. let's hope we come home to a job!

joining the masses

phil lost his job yesterday and friday will be his last day. we are fortunate enough to be in a position to survive for a short while, but would appreciate any prayers and good vibes you could send our way.

wedded bliss

i stole this from dooce, it's different. so, in case you were ever wondering about phil & i, and our relationship, here are all of the gory details!

what are your middle names?

mine is ann (elizabeth if you count my confirmation name. i don't.) and his is jack.

how long did you know each other before you started dating?

we met while working at rockford fosgate when i was 19 (hmmm...that would be in 2000). he was dating my best friend from 5th grade whom i hadn't spoken to or seen since 5th grade, and i broke up with my current boyfriend at the time to date the guy who would later become my first son's "sperm donor," for lack of a better term. we both got fired, and kept in touch via e-mail until several years later where he sent me a survey and i responded asking him if he wanted to get together that night. that night was february 27, 2004, and in 8 days we will have been together for 5 years. to answer the actual question, about 3 1/2 years.

who asked whom out?

i totally got ahead of myself on that last question!

how old are each of you?

i just turned 28 and he is 34, about to turn 35 in june.

whose siblings do you see the most?

since i have no siblings, that would be his.

which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

currently, although we have worked out most of the kinks, that would definitely have to be adjusting to being parents. nothing compared to the stress our relationship endured pre-baby and pre-marriage, but that i'd rather not discuss.

did you go to the same school?

not so much.

are you from the same home town?

nope. i was born in merrillville, in and lived there until i was 7. moved to california when i was 7 and then to phoenix, az when i was 10. was there until this past august. phil was born in garrison, nd, and lived in montana and wyoming before ending up in phoenix to go to devry.

who is smarter?

phil is by far the smartest. some may say he's a genius. i am highly intelligent, but i have to work for it, whereas he just gets it, whatever "it" may be. everyone says jacob is going to be, "smart like his daddy," and we find this to be hilarious.

who is the most sensitive?

that may or may not be me. i'll let you take a guess!

where do you eat out most as a couple?

the town we currently reside in does not offer much in the way of great restaurants. in phoenix, we definitely frequented jason's deli and los favoritos for good, cheap eats. when we wanted fancy it was always the melting pot.

where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

from phoenix to north dakota.

who has the craziest exes?

phil has dated some weird chicks, in my opinion, but i have dated some crazy mofo's. i think this one goes to me.

who has the worst temper?

i am quicker to get angry, but when phil gets mad - which is not very often - he gets MAD.

who does the cooking?

we both do. i didn't really start cooking until about 2 years ago. we ate out a lot. now he usually cooks breakfast foods, and does the grilling. or if i don't feel like cooking, he'll take over.

who is the neat-freak?

me, by far.

who is more stubborn?

ha! again, me.

who wakes up earlier?

we pretty much get up at the same time now that we have a baby.

where was your first date?

we met at the vine tavern & grill, and then went to some shady bar to watch a band play.

who is more jealous?

neither of us has ever given the other reason to be jealous, but it would definitely be me if given a reason.

how long did it take to get serious?

a lot longer than my past relationships, but that was a good thing. we were together from the first night we went out, but it wasn't until we had been together for 6 months that we said i love you. although, i knew i loved him long before that.

who eats more?

i eat more often, he eats more food.

who does the laundry?

we each do our own. and not because i haven't offered to do his.

who's better with the computer?

i would say we are just about equal on this one. i just have less patience to figure shit out, so i let him.

who drives when you are together?

i do. he is considered legally blind. i have always been the driver, picking my friends up back in the day, driving all over god's creation, so this doesn't bother me a bit. i actually prefer it.

bad sign

i am throwing a baby shower for a friend of mine in less than 3 weeks. 2 1/2 weeks ago, i ordered $100 worth of plates, napkins, and so forth which were to be the theme of the baby shower. i have now placed 3 phone calls, and sent 2 e-mails regarding the status of my order -which has not been received - and have gotten no response to either e-mail or to the 2 messages i've left. just now when i called, i was put on hold by a woman who then came back and told me if i gave her my name and phone number someone would call me back just as soon as possible.

i have a bad feeling about this.

month 9!

bubba scoops,

i have absolutely no idea where this nickname came from, but i like it. sometimes i just call you bubbas (what i called your big brother when he was a baby), and sometimes i just call you scoops, or scoopers. don't ask. one day i will have to post the astounding number of names i have given you in your 9 months of life.

you are about to get your 2 front teeth, and to be honest, i wish they'd come in already. you have a fussy day, then a good one, then 2 fussy days, and then a good one. but i can't even see the damn things yet! i just hope they make their appearance before our trip in less than 2 weeks, because i want you to at least be in the comfort of your own home while you're enduring the discomfort. the doc says they're making their way out, but only time will tell when they'll come for sure.

you are now 23 lbs 9 oz, and 28.5 inches long. you are in the 90th percentile for weight and 70th for height. you are a healthy little boy, and i am thankful that you have not been sick yet. someone told me last week that since you hadn't been sick, i should go out and get you sick. this is probably one of the most ridiculous things i've heard yet, and i responded with, "you're right, i should take him to wal-mart right now and have him lick the floor!" great idea.

there is a random thing i thought about this month that i don't think i've mentioned before, but probably should. you do not take a pacifier. i think i have just one picture of you with one in your mouth, and honestly, i'm glad i don't have to break you of the habit. instead, you suck on your hand. your right hand to be exact, and that serves as your comfort. you also pull your hair with your left hand at the same time and i find this to be one of the most endearing things about you. except, of course, when you're eating and you end up with peaches in your hair. ;) i always know when you're hungry, or tired, or need some lovin' when you give me this signal.

while we're on the topic of peaches, they are your favorite food, along with strawberry pear granola. if i can't get you to eat anything else, these two foods you almost always scarf down with no trouble. you are certainly eating better than you were a few months ago, but you never eat more than two containers of 2nd foods in a day (and that is a good day!), and you gag if i even try to put vegetables near your mouth. you have tried some table food, cream cheese chicken, tuna mac salad, cheese, sloppy joes, yogurt, and cottage cheese, and cheese is by far your favorite. you are definitely my child.

your sleeping habits went from sleeping from 8 until 6, eating, and then sleeping until 7-7:30, to waking up at 2am, and now at 4am instead. daddy has been going into your room and cuddling you to get you to go back to sleep and although i think we should just let you cry in hopes that one day you will finally SLEEP THRU THE NIGHT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, daddy would rather snuggle you than let you cry. the doc says you should grow out of it, and that it is less of a reward than me feeding you, but i disagree. i think you get up just for the snuggles. and i suppose i can't say i blame you! mama loves her snuggles, too.

you love to play peek-a-boo with me, but we call it, "where's the monkey?" and then i peek at you and say, "there's the monkey!" this inevitably gets a smile from you every time. not that i ever have to try to get you to smile, because let me tell you, you are the smiliest baby on the face of the planet and I LOVE IT. no joke, not one person walks by anywhere at any time that you don't smile at. i get comments everywhere i go, and although i've mentioned it before, i just have to bring it up again because i can't believe i got so lucky. don't ever stop smiling, baby boy.

you are still cruising around like a madman, and are even climbing. i wish i could upload the picture of you standing on your bike to reach the 2nd shelf of the entertainment center, but unfortunately that picture is on my phone. i am always so worried about sending your grandma d her pic of the day that sometimes i don't get the really good ones on the actual camera. along with the cruising and climbing comes quite a few bumps and scratches, but most of the time they don't phase you. i have to stop myself several times a day from rushing to your aide because i think you've really gone and hurt yourself, and then you don't even cry!

you have all but refused to sit in the bathtub for the past month and it was starting to drive me crazy. however, the past few nights we have surrounded you with toys and you've managed to keep your butt in the water. this is a welcome change and i hope it sticks!

i've started reading to you more consistently lately, after bathtime, and right before bed, and you are responding moreso now than ever before. as soon as you hear me, you crawl right over to me from whatever object you were chewing on and smile up at me. i am so glad you finally enjoy having me read to you.

every day you are starting to look more like a little boy, and although it's hard to imagine you as anything other than a baby, i do get glimpses of what you might be like as a boy and i can't wait to see what kind of person you become. i have a feeling your smile will always be infectious and your personality one that draws people to you. you are so special, and i love you so very much.

love,

mama

snowed in

we got A LOT of snow last night. so much so, that there is a car stuck in the middle of the street in front of my house right now. sucks to be that guy! i offered him a shovel, but he declined. =)

i don't know why, but for some reason the fact that i can't leave the house, is giving me serious cabin fever. i probably wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway, but not having the option is killing me. thankfully, my chunky monkey is in a good mood.

just wondering...why are babies and children in general always drawn to the really expensive things? jacob loves to suck on the bose and on phil's les paul. both of which cost over $1000. wtf?

this weekend we went to stay with phil's aunt and uncle in montana and we fed the monkey all kinds of new food. he had velveeta cheese, beef, and brown rice. and the poor kid grunted and groaned for 2 days trying to get the turds out. oops!

think i smell a poopy diaper.

everything you never knew you wanted to know...

1. I am copying and pasting this from my facebook page.
2. I read magazines from front to back.
3. I am an only child.
4. Tomorrow is my 1 year wedding anniversary.
5. Tuesday is my 28th birthday. I feel old.
6. I am a vodka girl. I prefer Grey Goose. And I can drink A LOT.
7. I don't drink very often anymore. Babies make it less enjoyable.
8. I have another son that is 7 years old. He was adopted. It is an open adoption and I consider everyone involved truly blessed.
9. I have 7 best friends, not including my husband. I love them all equally and for different reasons. I'm a lucky girl!
10. I am a midwestern girl at heart, even though I haven't lived there since I was 7.
11. I love music. I wish I had more time to devote to it's enjoyment. Especially live music. *Sigh*
12. I love big words. And adjectives and alliteration.
13. My 2 favorite words are fuck and asinine. They are not big.
14. I want 1 more child. I hope it's a girl, but I will be just as happy if it's a boy. I am not sure the world needs a "mini-me."
15. I have always wanted to be an editor of a travel or food magazine. I am fairly certain that's never going to happen!
16. Being a mother to my little monkey has changed my life and made me a better, more patient person. Most of the time. ;)
17. I hated living in the desert and hope I never have to move back. But I like Phoenix itself.
18. There are so many places that I want to travel, but sadly, I don't think I will ever have the ability to do so financially.
19. I am a perfectionist. And also a procrastinator.
20. I do not want to be a perfect parent, just a good one.
21. I am loyal to a fault.
22. I can often be judgemental, but do not mean to be. And it is never with malicious intent.
23. I do not give my puppy enough love now that I have a baby and I feel terrible about it.
24. I hate hosting things. HATE. HATE. HATE. I don't even like people coming to my house. It gives me anxiety.
25. I shower in the nude.

yes we can!

i know, i know...i'm totally late here, but hey! i still haven't posted my new year's post yet either, so whatever.

i finally had a moment (or 2) to watch the inauguration on youtube, and can i just say that i totally got chills? not exactly the way i planned on watching it, but it's better than not watching at all. and did i mention the chills?

for once, i can honestly say that i am proud to be an american.

go obama!

p.s. oh shit! i was baking cookies, and now they are burning!

in the past 12 hours...

my son has managed to fall TWICE! and both times were, of course, my fault.

last night before bed, phil was throwing monkey in the air and catching him. i thought he was done and shut off the light just as he threw him into the air for the last time. he did not catch him.

this morning, while we were all playing in bed, jacob crawled over me and promptly flipped off the bed before i could get my hand out from under the covers to catch him.

is it bad that i just laugh at these things now???

=)

month 8!

hi my chunker,

this month has been pretty low-key. i'm sure your cute little brain is developing at an astonishing rate, but i haven't really noticed many physical developments...especially compared to last month! you are standing in your crib now, which has presented a few obstacles when it comes to nap and bedtime, but you seem to be over the novelty for the most part, or at least at bedtime.

the first night that we decided to let you cry, again, so that i could get more rest, just so happened to be the night you also learned to stand in your crib! needless to say, i was having to come in and lie you down several times to get you to go to sleep and when you woke in the middle of the night for the first week, i had to get up anyway and come into your room, because you knew how to get up, but not down.

i would love to say that you are sleeping thru the night, but it's not true. you do some nights...so that's a plus, but not always. i am not feeding you, unless you wake up after 6am, and then i do and we go back to sleep for a little while. i'm not quite sure what it is that you want from me on the nights you do wake up, and there doesn't seem to be any pattern on the nights you do wake up versus those you don't, so i have no idea how to proceed. i guess we'll just take it one night at a time.

auntie c is getting married at the end of next month and we are taking you to vegas for a night. i was highly opposed to taking you for the 3 days she is going to be there, so we figured out an alternate plan. we fly to vegas the afternoon of the wedding, spend the night, and then drive back to phoenix with grandma and grandpa d for 10 days. daddy can only stay for the first 3 days, but i am co-hosting your auntie l's baby shower, which just so happens to be the following weekend, so we are going to stay a bit longer. it will work out perfectly for everyone and mommy will get to spend some time with her girls. YAY!

it would be nice if you gave up your nighttime wakings by then, but if not then we will deal with it. i'm afraid, however, that we will have to start over by the time we get home. i will just have to stand firm against feeding you to get you to go back to sleep, no matter how sad your cry is. luckily you will have your own room at grandma and grandpa's house so we won't bug each other too much. =)

you are starting to cruise a bit around the coffee table, and changing your diaper has become quite an ordeal. you've decided that you would rather lie any which way but on your back while i'm trying to change you, and it's a development i could do without. although totally expected. i suppose i should be thankful it took you this long to figure out you don't have to just lie there and take it.

you are indeed eating better, and sleeping better, as i had hoped for at the end of last month. all in all i'd say it's been a good month for us, kiddo. you continue to make me all mushy inside and i want nothing more than to wake up and see your smile every day. there is no other job i would rather do than being your mommy.

you rock.

mama

die storkcraft, die.

i have hated my storkcraft crib from the moment phil put the damn thing together. almost immediately upon construction the drawer started falling out every time i opened it. we tried everything to rig it so it wouldn't, but even phil - who can fix anything - couldn't get it to work properly.

because it matched my other furniture, and i loved the set so much, i couldn't bear to find another one. it had been out-of-stock off and on practically the entire time i was pregnant and i literally checked the website every day. i wanted that damn crib. after the monk arrived, it was out-of-stock again for months, rendering us incapable of ordering a replacement.

once we arrived in north dakota, i contacted storkcraft (whose website you can only access if you type it directly into the web browser...?! when you search for storkcraft in any search engine, it takes you to retailers that sell it, but not the website itself) about sending me a new crib or new crib drawer. i explained my son had already arrived, was using the crib, and i needed an acceptable replacement sent immediately and upon receipt i would return the one we were using.

i thought this was a fair request considering the shoddy workmanship of their product and the inconvenience of it all. storkcraft, however, sent me an e-mail telling me that i needed to provide them with the model number, name of the item, country of origin (with "where it was made" in parenthesis...really? does the term "country of origin" not explain that clearly enough for some people?), the date of manufacture (followed by 4 different places this could be located), date of purchase, part code and full description of the parts i need, my phone number, and address.

i had already provided half of that information in the fucking subject line of the e-mail and another portion of it in the body of my e-mail. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! it has to be that complicated? now, i know storkcraft manufactures many different cribs, but come on.

needless to say, i decided fuck it. the drawer is a non-functional piece of shit, but i'll live. not only did i have no desire to gather all of that information, but i didn't want my poor husband to have to deal with putting together any more baby furniture. and don't even get me started on the ordeal that was the matching dresser.

so, this morning i get a phone call from my mom that there was a segment on the today show on a recall of storkcraft cribs. i check it out, and not only is there a recall on storkcraft cribs, there is a recall on EVERY SINGLE CRIB (about 500,000) manufactured between may 2000 and november 2008. all types of styles and finishes.

i am a newbie to this baby crap recall thing, but i find it a little disconcerting that they can't narrow it down a bit more. we can find the exact fucking cow that spreads mad cow disease, but we can't figure out which type/model of crib may have a defect that could cause the mattress board to fall and my child to get stuck between the mattress board and his mattress? awesome.

i hate you storkcraft.

one for the recordbooks...

today, while i was pooping, my son crawled over to me with tears running down his face and lifted up his arms for me to pick him up. and i did. while i was pooping. i held my son while i sat on the toilet and pooped.

unbelievable!

it is 1:15am and between the incessant wind and my son that will not stop crying despite several attempts over the last hour and a half to get him to do so, it looks like i'm not getting much sleep tonight.

fingers crossed

life has been craaaaazy around here for the past few weeks. the folks arrived a few days before christmas, and then there was christmas and all of the requisite baking, eating, cooking, and eating that goes along with it. then before we knew it new years came along, and now here we are a week and a half later and i have no idea where the time went.

we battled the monk's sleep issues until the sunday after christmas and then i decided to cut out the middle of the night feedings and just do one before i went to bed at night. he still woke up and cried anywhere between 1-4 times a night though, and since the monk learned to stand in his crib a few days prior, i was still getting up to lie his little butt down every time. after a full week of this, i decided i had had enough and made up my mind to let him cry, and what do you know? he slept thru the night that night. and the night after and the night after that.

this is good, right? wrong. last night he woke up at 12:30 and whimpered on and off for almost an hour. phil went in and snuggled him for a little while, which maybe you're not supposed to do, but daddy needs his snuggles, so far be it from me to mess with a daddy's monkey lovin'. i thought he had gone back to sleep and 5 minutes later he was whimpering again. not quite sure what that was about and thankfully he did not at any time stand in his crib, but it sounded so sad that i had to continually remind myself that going in there was only going to get me right back where we were a few weeks ago.

he eventually went to sleep on his own, and didn't wake up again, but man did he get me up early and he has just been fussing at me ever since! his morning nap was only 45 minutes, and his afternoon nap was only 30. guess he's just having an off day or maybe he's getting to the point where he doesn't need as much sleep? i hope not, because i am not sure i'm ready for that stage quite yet!

well, i started writing this post days ago and never got around to finishing it. that night the monk slept great again and was an angel all day. there may or may not have been another day in between, but last night was torture! i am thinking maybe he had a tummy ache because he promptly puked on me and daddy 3 times this morning and then took the most solid poop i've ever seen come out of his butt. however, after a nap (for both of us), we are as good as new and feeling fine once again.

i really need to get out of the habit of taking naps in the morning because i feel so L-A-Z-Y. i blame my parents. the whole time they were here, it was, "why don't you and phil go out tonight, why don't you go to lunch with your friends, why don't you go take a nap?" it was so damn fabulous i wasn't sure i could ever allow them to go home. ;)

newayz, i must go save my son from pulling an amp down on his head now. oh, joy.

bang, bang

i am tired of cleaning up dog puke, dog pee, and dog poop.

i am tired of waking up multiple times a night with a baby that should be sleeping thru the night by now.

i am just plain tired.

someone shoot me.