happy 1st birthday, my little monkey!

my darling jacob,

you are 1 year old today, and even though i know this day has been coming for the past 364 days, i still can't quite believe it. it's been a rough month for us, your 12th month of life, and i wish i could write a post about all of the wonderful things you've been up to, but the truth is, daddy left to go work up north at the beginning of the month, and you got sick immediately afterwards.

at first i thought you just had a cold, and i let it go for almost a week. one day we were playing at grandma's and you got a raging fever out of nowhere. i called the doctor the next day, as your fever hadn't subsided all night, and they told me to keep you home unless a number of things happened. unfortunately, all of those things happened, and i had to take you in the next afternoon.

you had been burning up since the day before, and you were unlike i've ever seen you. you wanted nothing but to snuggle with mama, and you looked so sad and forlorn, i could hardly stand it. you whimpered, you cried if i even dared go to the bathroom without you, and i knew for sure that something was wrong. as sweet as you are, you are never content to lie on mama for any more than a millisecond.

the doctor concluded that you had a sinus infection, and because you had a red ring around your butt hole, and had been exposed to tonsillitis, that you had perianal strep. i tried to find information about it on the internet to no avail, but i put you on amoxycillan and hoped that you would be cured.

turns out you have an extreme sensitivity to antibiotics, and had diarrhea almost immediately after the first dose i gave you. by the 4th day, your butt was so red and raw that i could hardly wipe it, and i had to have changed your diaper no less than 25 times by afternoon. after another call to the doctor, we decided to stop the antibiotics and see how you were doing at your 1 year checkup.

although you are noticeably better today, you have pooped on your bedroom floor, in the bathtub, and again at your naked birthday picnic. i am trying to give you as much naked time to allow your butt to heal as possible, but cleaning up diarrhea on fabric surfaces is not my favorite thing to do. =)

since i can't give you birthday cake today, for fear it will upset your tummy even more, i decided what better way to celebrate your 1st birthday than with a naked picnic? this was a great idea, and you absolutely loved crawling around grandma's backyard naked as a jaybird. grandma m was nice enough to put together your cozy coupe we bought you for your big day and you rode around in that, played with your blocks, and even ate a few snackies.

since you've been out of commission, you haven't really tried the walking thing much, but i can say that you are looking more like a little boy every day, and acting like one, too. i am taking you for your first haircut on thursday, and i will be surprised if i don't cry once i see how grown up you look.

having you has made our lives so much better, monkas chunkas. we love you so much, and are thankful every day that you have made us a family. i couldn't ask for a better son, and i am truly blessed to be your mommy, my boy. i can't wait to see what you have in store for us now!

happy 1st birthday, jacob lucas.

i love you more than there are stars in the sky,

mama