month 11!

jacob,

you are getting so ridiculously big, my boy. just in the past month you have started waving, standing on your own, climbing off of things, kissing like crazy, comprehending what i say to you and sometimes listening, but let's be honest, mostly not. you found your penis not too long ago, while in the tub, and haven't let it go since, and i must say, your father is proud. you even like to stand after your bath at various places in your room, and pee like a big boy. you love to open and close cabinets and drawers, and you love to take things out of drawers and then put them back in. i also forgot to mention that somewhere between 9 and 10 months, you finally started sitting.

you are getting more teeth, but alas, they are not your two front teeth. oh no, they are your bicuspids! you are going to look like a little vampire baby. i kinda like that you're different, but it freaked me out a bit at first. the funny thing is that i had no idea you were even getting teeth until one night after bathtime you leaned your head back and i saw that one was already popping out! i thought to myself that i had the bestest teething baby in the whole world, and then i slapped myself for thinking such a thing, when every other day since then has been not so awesome to say the least.

your auntie and future girlfriend, lil t, came out to visit at the beginning of the month and the two of you played so well, my uterus was begging to be inhabitated again. luckily your other auntie had her second little boy the other day and hearing about how that is going with an 18 month old has convinced me that's not such a good idea just yet! but did i mention how cute the two of you were? she was kissing and hugging you to pieces, and you would kiss her back, and i just melted every time. you had such a great time with your little buddy, and we even recorded the two of you taking a bath together, and kissing, so that we can blackmail and torture you in your teenage years.

you are eating a variety of foods now, although your appetite still surprises me in that it's not very big. maybe once you stop getting the boob? one more month, baby, one more month. *sigh* i am ready, but i am not ready to go through the process of doing it. i can't even bring myself to give up our early morning feeding, but that is mostly because i want to sleep later. but i think i am going to have to soon to make the transition easier later on. foods you are eating include lunch meat, cheese, chicken, pb & j, animal crackers, cheerios, pancakes, yogurt, fruit cups, mashed potatoes, fish, ground beef, and sometimes if you're feeling generous, veggies. sometimes we just give you whatever we're having if it's baby friendly, and sometimes we give you a gerber graduates meal. you absolutely love the gerber cheese puffs and you would eat an entire can in a sitting if i'd let you. gerber puffs? not so much anymore.

we are going to phoenix again at the end of may because your uncle g is getting married, and we are going to have your 1st birthday party while we're there. i am so excited that we get to have it there because all of your little friends can come. we are having invitations made that say, "our little monkey, jacob, is turning 1!" that have a little monkey on them with all the details for the party. we are going to bbq and swim, drink and have a great time. it will be perfect. your grandma m may even fly out if there's no work yet.

i have started to have to "discipline" you and i hate it. it makes me feel like the meanest mama in the world, and i hate the idea that you may think i'm mad at you. there is a baby gate up at the top of the stairs and you love to defy me by climbing up and standing on it. i have told you, "no thank you," countless times, tried using a stern voice, pulling you away and putting you elsewhere, and nothing distracts you from it. i've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how taking care of a baby is the easy part, while raising a child is the hard part. i just hope you know that whatever i do or don't let you do is for your own good, and i am going to try my best to be the best mom i can be. i'm only human so i'm bound to screw up along the way, but hopefully the stuff i do right outweighs the wrong.

i love you.

mama