die storkcraft, die.

i have hated my storkcraft crib from the moment phil put the damn thing together. almost immediately upon construction the drawer started falling out every time i opened it. we tried everything to rig it so it wouldn't, but even phil - who can fix anything - couldn't get it to work properly.

because it matched my other furniture, and i loved the set so much, i couldn't bear to find another one. it had been out-of-stock off and on practically the entire time i was pregnant and i literally checked the website every day. i wanted that damn crib. after the monk arrived, it was out-of-stock again for months, rendering us incapable of ordering a replacement.

once we arrived in north dakota, i contacted storkcraft (whose website you can only access if you type it directly into the web browser...?! when you search for storkcraft in any search engine, it takes you to retailers that sell it, but not the website itself) about sending me a new crib or new crib drawer. i explained my son had already arrived, was using the crib, and i needed an acceptable replacement sent immediately and upon receipt i would return the one we were using.

i thought this was a fair request considering the shoddy workmanship of their product and the inconvenience of it all. storkcraft, however, sent me an e-mail telling me that i needed to provide them with the model number, name of the item, country of origin (with "where it was made" in parenthesis...really? does the term "country of origin" not explain that clearly enough for some people?), the date of manufacture (followed by 4 different places this could be located), date of purchase, part code and full description of the parts i need, my phone number, and address.

i had already provided half of that information in the fucking subject line of the e-mail and another portion of it in the body of my e-mail. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! it has to be that complicated? now, i know storkcraft manufactures many different cribs, but come on.

needless to say, i decided fuck it. the drawer is a non-functional piece of shit, but i'll live. not only did i have no desire to gather all of that information, but i didn't want my poor husband to have to deal with putting together any more baby furniture. and don't even get me started on the ordeal that was the matching dresser.

so, this morning i get a phone call from my mom that there was a segment on the today show on a recall of storkcraft cribs. i check it out, and not only is there a recall on storkcraft cribs, there is a recall on EVERY SINGLE CRIB (about 500,000) manufactured between may 2000 and november 2008. all types of styles and finishes.

i am a newbie to this baby crap recall thing, but i find it a little disconcerting that they can't narrow it down a bit more. we can find the exact fucking cow that spreads mad cow disease, but we can't figure out which type/model of crib may have a defect that could cause the mattress board to fall and my child to get stuck between the mattress board and his mattress? awesome.

i hate you storkcraft.